There's a scene during the (wildly disappointing) final season of the Sopranos that sticks with me. Christopher, a recovering drug addict, is dating another addict who he met in rehab. They have fallen off the wagon together, and are sitting around her living room, doped out of their minds. Christopher turns to her and says, "You know what's interesting? Us being able to use again, and yet integrating it into our lives."
That's how I often feel about online gaming.
I kick the habit again and again, but it never seems to stay kicked. And every time I get into another online jag, it seems, for a brief shining moment as if I have finally managed that crucial integration. As though I won't decide to spend a beautiful day hunched over my computer, as though I won't get sunk into a tournament when I have a perfectly good book lying around.
Time to kick the habit again.
On a side note, how sucky was that last season of Sopranos? I knew it was going to be bad when four characters spent an entire scene sitting around talking about how one of the neighbor's kids drowned in a pool. The scene is shot in front of a lake, and one of the character's kids is off camera somewhere, playing on another part of the estate. Dread seizes the viewer with cold, icy fingers, and we all sat up a little straighter on the couch.
What happens at the end of the episode? Big ol' nothing. Much like the series finale.